home

home has become such an abiguity to me these days. at the moment my family is in the process of packing up our home in orange county. we're all in the midst of moving, but we're not all moving to the same place. my brother and his wife are moving to malibu, making their home near pepperdine law school where he'll be working on his degree. my parents are moving to oregon where a house has been donated to my dad's nonprofit; they're remodeling it and when it's all done they'll either sell it or settle down in it, depending on how things go. and as for me, i'm moving to point loma, making the city of san diego my official home.

home home home. i've always supposed that you're meant to have just one. but right now i feel like i have a hundred. other times i feel like i don't have one at all. i mean, home is being pulled in so many places at the moment that it almost feels nonexistent. it's a bit reminicient of my childhood (i moved fourteen times before ending up in this house). though back then, i never really settled down, never really had a "home town." my family and i were too busy moving from here to there and the next place for me to ever really feel a connection to the places we lived. but here? here i've gotten connected. this? this has been home for the past twelve years. and while i've had plenty of time to adjust to the idea, to slowly chip away at my attatchment to this place, i'm still going to miss orange county. how strange will it be not to come back here for the holidays? to come back here ever? i mean, i will come back to town for the occasional visit. but i will never walk through this front door, hop up these steps, come into this room, and lay down on this bed, looking out this bedroom window to see this view. i will never call this house my home again.
it's bitter sweet, really. because amongst all that schmaltzy nostalgia, i am so looking forward to settling down in san diego. it will certainly take some adjusting, and i'm not saying that it will be a walk in the park. what i am saying, though, is that i'm excited to be in a city that i love surrounded by friends that i adore. i'm excited for the adventure that it will be. and after all, my parents will only be a two-hour flight away instead of a two-hour drive. and instead of coming to orange county to see my high school sweetheart and my high school friends, they can come down to visit me (i've got a couch with all of your names on it).
so while the old english proverb says, "home is where the heart is," i say that is far too complicated. my heart is with my family and friends, and all of them are so scattered about these days, my poor heart wouldn't be able to handle it. instead, i'll stick with a much more simple definition: "home is where your rump rests" (pumba, you are so wise). i'm looking forward to my rump to residing in san diego. and exactly one week from today, that's precisely what it will be doing. the move-in date is set for august 14th, and in the mean time i'll be packing up everything and soaking up every last moment i get in this home before moving on to the next...