my heart is conflicted on a daily basis. but tonight it is torn in two pieces. two pieces that have been thrown on opposite sides of a great, tall wall. osama bin laden has been killed, and i can almost hear the unanimous roar of american pride resounding through the nation. in fact, i can hear it. loud and clear. my t.v. is on in the background, and america' s voice is coming through the speakers chanting, "U-S-A! U-S-A!" but i've found myself incapable of cheering along.
i love my country; really, i do. and i so understand and even feel the sense of justice pulsing through the veins of the united states. this country lost thousands of lives at the hands of terrorism and bin laden. he has been the face of the enemy, of evil, of terrorism these past ten years. and for many, his death represents a victory over all of those. but in the midst of all the hype, all the congratulations and hoo-rahs, i can't help but stop and wonder if god would be chanting too, would be high-fiving america. i sort of doubt it.
people might find me insane, may call me crazy, but after hearing president obama's address to the nation, i took a moment to think about what had happened, to think about osama bin laden, and out of the blue popped psalms 139 into my mind. bin laden was a child of god. he was "fearfully and wonderfully made." i mean, wasn't he? i know it sounds unfathomable, but i believe it's true. and no matter how utterly monsterous the man was, god still loved osama bin laden. i mean, didn't he?
i'm not saying that i am mourning the man's death. far from it. there's a part of me--you know, the other side of my heart on the other side of the wall--that's glad he's dead. that is relieved that he's gone. that finds justice in his death. i read a quote tonight, some words of mark twain that resonated with me: "i've never wished a man dead, but i have read some obituaries with great pleasure." i want to embrace that pleasure. i wish i could. but i don't think i'll be shouting "U-S-A!" and fist-bumping america. at least, not with my whole heart.
i love my country; really, i do. and i so understand and even feel the sense of justice pulsing through the veins of the united states. this country lost thousands of lives at the hands of terrorism and bin laden. he has been the face of the enemy, of evil, of terrorism these past ten years. and for many, his death represents a victory over all of those. but in the midst of all the hype, all the congratulations and hoo-rahs, i can't help but stop and wonder if god would be chanting too, would be high-fiving america. i sort of doubt it.
people might find me insane, may call me crazy, but after hearing president obama's address to the nation, i took a moment to think about what had happened, to think about osama bin laden, and out of the blue popped psalms 139 into my mind. bin laden was a child of god. he was "fearfully and wonderfully made." i mean, wasn't he? i know it sounds unfathomable, but i believe it's true. and no matter how utterly monsterous the man was, god still loved osama bin laden. i mean, didn't he?
i'm not saying that i am mourning the man's death. far from it. there's a part of me--you know, the other side of my heart on the other side of the wall--that's glad he's dead. that is relieved that he's gone. that finds justice in his death. i read a quote tonight, some words of mark twain that resonated with me: "i've never wished a man dead, but i have read some obituaries with great pleasure." i want to embrace that pleasure. i wish i could. but i don't think i'll be shouting "U-S-A!" and fist-bumping america. at least, not with my whole heart.
I want you to know 2 things:
ReplyDelete1) I am proud of you.
-and-
2) You've been in my google reader blog feed for some time now. Every time you post, I read it! (So, even before you posted a link to this blog on my blog, I had already read your thoughts!)